LYRICS

"QUEER SALUTATIONS"

Queer Salutations
You were rolling on x the night that we first met. You said you don't remember, its funny how we never forget what we'd like to but never recall the thoughts we're tied to. "Nothing to do tonight, right?" "Tired of watching us drinking?" Its wishful thinking. I'm still waiting for your admission of defeat, Is it the 90 degrees of midnight or the confession of this street that keeps you long? There's a hole in my tongue, and all the words I recited just fell right inside it. I'm trying so hard to keep from lumping into this sunken shape that I take when you put on the smile that greets me like a wave goodbye. Queer salutations are so hard to forget. Reliving the moments we've sworn to have never repeated, now who's mistreated? The push and the pull of the night I wont say I'm completed, I feel alright though I'm still waiting for your admission of the feet Is it the 90 degrees of midnight or the confession of this street that keeps you gone?

Awkward Type of Girl
You've got a boyfriend, but that don't matter. It wont keep him from what he's after. He wants to make you his new obsession before you graduate from post college depression. You pride yourself as an awkward type of girl, but you're a self hating socialite, admit it. You wear a badge of the hardships you've endured. And you don't let your company forget it. Put on a record, he doesn't get it. "I'm not a fan of shallow indie," he admitted. You're not offended when he confesses that he laughs inside at all your vintage dresses. Convince yourself your not part of his deceit. He knows he's only a novelty distraction. A slain regret and a promise to repeat, but will you even get the satisfaction?

Sleeper Hold
I've got a swelling gut. You think its serious, I'm about to explode. You put your hand on me. You make it hard to breath, put me in sleeper hold. Try not to mind it when you get reminded it's nobody's job but yours. You tell the shitty jokes I'll convince all the folks its no one's fault but ours. You can't bury it and pray that it won't come back to life someday. You walk around and stomp your feet to keep it underground, I hear the thumps where I am. "Am I an idiot?" You asked me to shut up. "You'll wake my roommates bro." You make this hard on me, spilling your arms on me melting into my mold. You can't bury it and pray that it won't come back to life someday. Cause there's a mouth in my ear and its dragging names like empty lakes because you throw all your trash in there man.

Reasons Why
Midnight strikes, well I forgot. My empty skull rings "surely not". I hear it echo and I feel the morning light, and my brain is in the fog that grew on my floor overnight. I feel like I'm being eaten alive by the memories I've pushed aside. Am I burning out from the inside? Because something's biting on my brain, the thoughts I thought that I could hide. They are my reasons why I lie in bed to pass the time. I saw a picture and we were sitting on a couch in your living room. Me I was looking at the floor. You wore that drowning gaze. I looked away from you. There's a sign on you that I can't read, it's a side of you I've never seen. And the picture always reminds me how you claim you can read peoples thoughts, you've claimed since you were seventeen.

Excursion into Philosophy
I've seen into your future and I can see the things that you'll do. I could never trust you to disarm a bomb cause your just gonna sit and watch this kid blow up. And its not because of me? Well if you say so. Here's the chance that you have hunted, to do the things you've always wanted. Wear your clothes like you did once when acquaintances were not a hundred empty bottles in your bedroom, shoved in corners to make room for a twin frame where you've hosted many, with blue sheets, you would trade it all. A tree trunk for a twig, and two weeks alone is all you have to dig. I've seen into your future and I can hear the things you haven't said. I read it in the book that you keep hidden from me. You left it open when I found you there asleep. Two years almost two this day I sat where we once sat like I was visiting a grave, you told me here in confidence the only time that you got off is when your brothers friends threw rocks at you and forced you to eat dog shit and called you names that you make your lovers call you when they're fucking you. You were 13 in 1992. I can keep my eyes focused on this square of light on the floor I can't keep my mind off the framed picture on the wall.

Write Back Soon
Look at you, hippy girl, doing what you're supposed to do. White girl dreads on your head. "Want some flowers?" I said no. Powwow girl, think the world is a groovy fucking place. Smoke some grass, adopt cats, can you "dig it" if your shallow? And when the promises you meant to carry out leave you tasting doubt you chase them. You're a bohemian pilgrim, escaping persecution. Look at you, hipster dude, but I guess that's what you want. "Hold my Pabst?" Kiss my ass. Move to Brooklyn or Vermont. Get tattoos, Nike shoes. Tell us all just how you feel In the zine of poetry inspired by Kerouac and Salinger. And when the promises you meant to carry out leave you tasting doubt you chase them you're a counter culture victim, embracing devolution.
Crowd Aggravation I'll admit I'm ill prepared for what I was later told was done in fun. Lucky I made it. I was by myself. I gave you a rain check, I promised not to tell.

Crowd aggravation.
I could feel all the hate of your attack, I could see you standing there smiling. I could hold back the tears but not the screams, my friends told me after that I was lucky that I got away. Or am I lucky that I'm scared to die?

Self Abuse
There's so little I have left to scream about. I cant push out another word on your account. And I cant pretend to tell the truth if you fight back when I say what I wanted to. Do you remember last semester? You were so exhausted I was yelling out a lung and you said I'd lost it. You had covered my mouth so I asked you in my head. Are you feeling unsatisfied now with you situation? Your boyfriend drinks too much and you and he are out of touch and you went to your job the other day. You were insulted a customer and cried you said its hardly worth your wage. I just checked the mail today on my way out. I got the letter that you sent, the words you wrote, and I'm about to start telling you exactly what I think about your latest move. Tried to find the words to put to you, tried em' all and settled on self abuse. I've got a box of your old things that when you left you gave me I pull it out sometimes to remind me of the mess we made. I was over just the other day. You were there lying on your bed, sad in the dark, I gave you something I had made. I lie in bed thinking, sweating out a war. Pillow sheets are puddled, dripping from the fight the night before. Are you fine with telling me that I'm just another moment that has passed, another breath you let slip free?

Prose
All your writing is the same and your forcing stories to the page. And the girl that broke your heart's the star No you never let her get to far. And she's always happy on your page.
Sometimes life is only grand when the cum is falling into your hand. And your sessions begin to increase when your working on your masterpiece.

Tryna Decide
And there's a corner of you where I've never stood before the congregation you adore is pushing me away. I'm not a kid no more, so understand this please: this hear to heart is a reprise, I'll sing you every word but I won't fight you… "Look at this awesome town man" I'm tryna decide, I'm tryna decide. You begged me to climb down. You screamed we were surrounded. "Look at this awesome town man." I'm so bewildered by these candid fits I get, these cries of your abandonment that attest to your state I'm not a kid no more, so understand this please: our faults are never guarantees, its wrong to think that way. I won't fight you…

"Remember Me as a Silhouette"

Abbreviated Smile
Its not fair, you framed me for this fight
We wear the most predictable abbreviated smiles, I'm not trying to wax sentimental
but when you come to town I come to terms with who we really are
Cause when you come to town I come to terms with not coming at all

All faces change when in the dark, its an illusion and a metaphor
Decode a glance to put your face in order
And watch my mind wander

Bullshit I spoke with my eyes closed, could never find the perfect voice
Lost keys, a drunken dare you challenged me, I never had a choice
And every time I pick the scab on my left arm pick a time and place
When words are sounds were forced to hear and I am left deciphering your face
All faces change when in the dark, its an illusion and a metaphor
Decode a glance to put your face in order
And watch my mind wander

Akward Type of Girl
You've got a boyfriend, but that don't matter, it wont keep him from what he is after
He wants to make you his new obsession before you graduate from post college depression
You pride yourself as an awkward type of girl, but you're a self hating socialite, admit it
You wear a badge of the hardships you've endured
And you don't let your company forget it

Put on a record, he doesn't get it. "I'm not a fan of shallow indie," he admitted.
Your not offended when he confesses that he laughs inside at all your vintage dresses

Convince yourself your not part of his deceit
He knows he's only a novelty distraction
A slain regret and a promise to repeat
But will you even get the satisfaction?

Down the Street
I fought like hell to force the smiles that night; I guess I wanted you to be there
I searched the mirror for a face that I could try on to tell you I don't care
And my hands dropped to my side I always set em' where you can get them
I stare at faces boredly, they tell the same old stories
Remember me as a silhouette against a wood grain wall vignette

You condescend and I laugh till I cry
I'm barely awake and I'm taking abuse that would never thought that I'd a heard
From girls that I'm trying to make it with
Somewhere in this town on this boring evening I'll receive a call from my friends
I'll pretend I don't hear them
And when I said I regretted it I was trying to fit in

Yeah you speak so soft
And I'm trying to understand you
Regardless of of where you stay doesn't mean you're out of mind